12:40 am - 01/12/2007
The Peeve Petting Zoo is now open!
Okay, the great list of Things That Irk Me, volume one in a series. Other volumes to follow, as more annoyances are documented.
- Since I'm on the Net right now, we'll start there. For the love of [insert deity of choice here], people, stop putting those FUCKING FLASH ANIMATION ADS up on every page I visit. Do you have any idea how annoying that is? Yes, they're eye-catching. They're catching my eye so effectively that I can't concentrate on the thing I went to that page to read. Do you really think that pissing me off is going to convince me to buy from you? Please, go back to the old way of using animated gifs. That way I could at least hit the Stop button and make it quit flashing.
- Also Net related: spelling. Kids, I love you dearly. But if i ever c u in RL and u r typing something like this, I'm going to kick ur ass so hard u'll have 2 take ur shirt off 2 poop. Won't that b gr8?Oh, AnD tHoSe Of YoU wHo TyPe LiKe ThIs? I'm going to be hiding under your bed tonight with a pair of garden shears. Hitting the Shift key that many times will get damn annoying when you're typing with one of those rods the quadriplegics use. But maybe the stumps of your fingers will still be able to do the job...heh heh heh.
- Software companies that expect paying customers to be their beta testers. Maxis, I'm talking to you! The Sims Superstar was a total crock of shit, and you know it. Shame on you, releasing an expansion pack before it's even finished; the damn thing had more bugs than a Saigon hooker's crotch.
- Diary reviews. I know, I know, most of the review sites have to be asked in order to review someone, and thus those people are sticking themselves out there to be judged, but some of you reviewers...guys, come on. If your life is that fucking pathetic that you have to sit there and piss all over someone's personal thoughts and jeer about how "boring" they are...get off the computer and go do something productive. Like play in traffic.
- People who think that it's okay to inflict their religious and/or political views on everyone around them. No, I'm not talking about in your diary. You write whatever blows your skirt in that, and do so with my blessing (a heathenistic blessing, but there it is). I'm talking about the kind of people who overhear a private conversation and butt in with a lecture. Or the nice lady whose entry I once read in the guestbook of a site detailing the romance between a couple who met online, who wrote something like: "How could you put up a page glorifying your adultery? Don't you know that sex outside the sacrament of marriage is a sin?" Um...gosh, lady, if I believed in sin, that might bother me. And by the way, FUCK OFF.
- People who can't be bothered to learn the difference between homophones. And no, that doesn't mean electronic devices used to contact your friendly neighborhood gay bar. It means words that sound the same, but are spelled differently and mean completely separate things. For instance, if I read one more article about a "grizzly murder", I swear I'm going to write to the author and inquire which college they attended and how flammable the buildings there are. And I'll also want to know just what the fuck a bear was doing in Central Park, anyway.
- People who use the word "gay" to mean "bad" or "stupid". Seriously. You suck.
So there's the beginning of the list. Now go watch The Wiggles or something until you've cleansed your soul of the cynicism.
